Edge Newsletter

On Line



By Mike Lang

The 51 Things I Learned At The Edge

Where do I begin? I've been sitting here for 15 minutes trying to figure out how I should start my last article and I was totally drawing a blank on this one. Today (July 12, 2004) marks exactly 2 years that I have been working at the Edge and it has been quite an experience; it is one that I will never forget.  If you are wondering why I'm telling you all this it is because I am leaving the Edge and joining the U.S. Air Force. Before I take off, I thought I would share with you the 51 things that I learned at the Edge.

Why 51?           I felt I learned more than Kyle did… (read Kyle's "50 Things I Learned At The Edge")

1. Mike actually means Mark to Steve.
2. Never under-estimate the cleaning Power of Mehling and his soundtracks playing in the background.
3. Bendis, Geoff Johns, Ellis, Straczynski, Geoff Johns, and Geoff Johns, oh, and James Robinson.
4. Two words: Flash rocks!
5. Filing Titans books wasn't that bad, Teen Titans, New Teen Titans, Titans, Team Titans, Tales Of Teen Titans, Spotlight on Titans.
6. Magic card sorting sucks, just ask Steve.
7. Mullets are funny.
8. Ant-man has my last name but it didn't make me cool.
9. While working at West on Sunday, it is possible to have one customer the whole day.
10. Smallville is the greatest show ever; don't let anyone tell you different.
11. And the Simpsons is right next to it.
12. Batman is a good book when Jim Lee draws it.
13. Only ask questions if they relate to the job.
14. Filing independent comics got much easier with more room.
15. So when's Daredevil Bullseye #2 coming out…? Never.
16. When given meat by a senior Edge guy you must eat it, no questions asked.
17. Having walkie-talkies made getting back issues easier, why didn't we think of that before?
18. Bacon flavored butter makes bacon better.
19. Never had to poop in a half box, but if I had to, I wouldn't.
20. Valiant Comics never sold until they were moved all the way to the top rack. Lousy Valiant fan.
21. When Steve says, "I have a project", don't let him finish, just run like hell.
22. Free Comic book day means 1 free comic, and 1 means 1, not all of them.
23. The big rat in the basement was actually the Golden Age Flash that escaped from the vault.
24. Morlocks are real, especially when they come out after you got in a car accident.
25. When asked anything really stupid or you didn't hear or didn't understand just say “alright”.
26. Duct tape solves all problems, even Keith.
27. If you want change for a dollar ask Kyle.
28. The Iron Man helmet at South really makes you Iron Man.
29. Spider-Man 1 and 2 are the best comic movies ever.
30. "How you think now is how you will think in 20 years" according to Steve.
31. My head was shaved before I became an Edge guy, but I would have shaved it eventually anyway.
32. When asked where the Mad Serb is, just reply, “drinking”.
33. Dance around Brian; get a punch in the throat.
34. Filing Previews isn't that bad.
35. Keith asks a lot of questions. Then your head hurts from banging it into the wall.
36. Booze should be everyone's friend according to the Mad Serb.
37. The two greatest characters (in my mind) are Dr. Mid-Nite and Hawkman... thanks Kurt.
38. JSA, Teen Titans and The Flash. ‘nuff said.
39. When asked, “So who's that one character that does that one thing in that one book with that one sidekick”, you always answer, “you know, that one guy”.
40. Heavy Metal music will give me brain damage (thanks for the tip Steve).
41. Dance monkey dance.
42. John (West Manager) thinks I started working counter 3 months ago when it was like a year and half ago.
43. Working West on Sunday is good for reading many comics.
44. Smallville is my life; just ask Kevin the computer guy.
45. Kyle always comes back for some reason. I thought he was leaving. Stupid college.
46. Kyle brought his girlfriend to the Edge. That was his first mistake. The second was actually being embarrassed.
47. When doing something just cut corners to get it done faster.
48. My name might be Mark, Robo-Kyle, Not-Kyle, Kyle or Hey You, and finally… Mike.
49. Kyle's special friend is Rogman, but he is not my special friend in anyway. I'll leave it at that.
50. When taken out to eat steak with Steve, Kevin and Ilija don't eat for a whole entire day.


51. When I came up from the basement, after filing comics, and told Steve I was finished he replied, "Alright you're fired". I said "Alright" and walked behind the counter and continued working. And no one cared.

That's my “51 things I learned at the Edge”. Trust me I could go on and on but I think this was the best. Thanks for reading and thanks to all the Edge guys for the great memories from the past 2 years.


Mark, Robo-Kyle, Not-Kyle... and...

as always... Mike Lang

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